Ooze
Time period before you started lifted…referred to as B.C. (before curls). You’re still worried that you may never actually see a vagina in your life. You decide to start lifting for the purpose of looking good and getting girls.
Tadpole
Time period when you first start lifting and experience your first pump. You also experience the loss of your first pump. You see what you could be and what you once were all in the same day.
Brotege
You’ve maxed out your beginner gains and you finally have a hint of muscle. You might think you’re big but you are by no means big. Girls start to take notice and you enjoy it while it lasts.
Gym Bro
You finally have some experience and knowledge under your belt. You’ve subscribed to muscle and fitness and bodybuilding.com is your homepage. You are a student of broscience and have a good aesthetic physique but are still lacking in most places. Actually, your still lacking in all places.
Check out 50 Signs You’re A Gym Bro!
Gym Rat
Time period when you are scientifically considered jacked. Your getting the girls and have evolved into the douchebag you wanted to be. Unfortunately, you spend all your time in the gym with other gym rats and have developed the urge to become the biggest guy wherever you go. You compare yourself to everyone around you and are constantly unhappy with yourself
Monster
You are now huge. The need to be bigger than everyone has led you to begin using “extracurriculars.” You are constantly questioned if you’re on roids and always deny it. Guys think your scary and girls think your scary but who cares, the gym is the only thing you do, the only thing you care about, and the only thing your good at. You’ve forgotten what it’s like to be human because you’re not one, you’re a monster.
Freak Beast
At this point, you’ve thought about going pro and have started an instagram fitness profile. You are finally the biggest and most shredded dude around. You are animal planet…you might have grown a hoofed foot and might have started seeing the vet instead of the doctor. You exist solely for the purpose of being big. You’re no longer attracted to chicks you used to bang years ago because the only people that care about how big you are now are dudes, and chicks that are dudes. Your interests, your passions, and your entire life revolves around the male body…no homo.
